Osechi And The New Beginning

It doesn’t feel like Oshogatsu (A new year) without Osechi Ryori. As a child growing up in Japan, I liked waking up to a chilly morning of the new year. The air was cold but fresh and it was usually a sunny day. Dressed up nicely and headed to the grandparents' house for the celebration. On a dinning table, we would find variations of vibrant food assembled nicely in Jubako (stacked boxes used for new year’s food). I was never a fan of the taste of Osechi as a child but the longer I have been away from home, the more I have missed part of this tradition.

Every new year, I try to make a few dishes by myself in addition to already bought Osechi items from a Japanese grocery store. This year, I made shrimps, rolled grilled chicken, salmon terrine, and Ozoni. Most preparations are done the day before. All I do on Gantan (on 1st) is to pull my creativity together to make a plate of art, just like a Japanese garden, thinking of positioning, balance, asymmetry, colors, and so on. This part is very zen-like, a calming meditative process I enjoy the most.

Here's the Ozoni of this year. It's a soup with a mochi and vegetables inside. One of my favorite new year's dishes.

Koa was dressed up nicely with a bow tie to start off the new year formally. He was very curious to find out the peculiar looking food on the table. We played traditional Japanese music in the background to elevate our mood to eat Osechi. As I have anticipated, it was a sunny beautiful day, most appropriate for the new year's day. Here we are in 2022. 明けましておめでとうございます。(Happy new year!)

A few days ago, I had my birthday. I entered into another decade of my life, the big"forty." It sounds like a grown-up, in another word, "feels a lot older." People have always generously mentioned to me that I looked younger than my age. I was never a fan of that comment when I was young since I felt like I was looked down upon and it was a disadvantage in the professional field. Recently, I came to be appreciative of my asian gene, especially after giving birth to Koa, I felt like I aged faster with the speed of light with all the hormonal imbalance and prolonged sleep deprivations.

My early thirties were full of ambitions, traveled halfway around the world for work and saw the economical and building boom, the golden time in China. Had an unforgettable wedding in Denmark. When I returned to the Bay Area, I was fortunate to be at the forefront of the tech business, getting on the wave of the hardware boom, in the area of wearable, AR/VR, and home devices.

In the mid thirty, I hit my wall, the biggest wall of my life, infertility. And ultimately, loosing my first baby boy. The trauma messed up my brain and my body. I felt like the entire world was against me and I was never allowed to have good things happen in my life. Thanks to my early years trained as a ballet dancer, which had really helped me toughen my mental strength, I'm proud that I didn't fall into depression. Instead, I focused on building up my mental resilience, kept on moving whatever happened.

The turning point came when we bought our house. Nobody understood back then the idea of having a job in one place and a house in another city. People around us all raised eye brow when I first shared the news. I was first against it but eventually followed Nicolai, who always seems to know how to be ahead of everybody. A year went by and Corona happened. It felt like the world had finally caught up with us. Everybody wanted to buy a house in another city. A remote or hybrid model has become the new norm. We retreated in our house in the hills and all of the sudden, I got pregnant with Koa, the biggest wish I had all these years.

My thirties were full of ups and downs, joys and struggles but I sprinted and it was all worth it in the end. I'm very looking forward to the next chapter of my life. I'm okay to slow down a bit after going through the rollercoaster ride in my thirties and plus Corona. Foremost, I wish for good health of our little family and the families in Denmark and Japan. Seeing them as many times as we possibly can this year. I want to feel enthusiastic about what I do for work again, not in the same way I was fearlessly ambitious in my early thirties but to find more profound meaning in work, reflecting back on how I used to believe in design, which is not egoistic but friendly to our society and environment, not convoluted and decadent but simple and honest. Initially I started this blog to process my mind, get through the grief, and find myself again. Today, I am writing with full of optimisms and hopes. A happy 2022 to whoever came across this blog!

Greetings in Japanese

もうすぐ２月ですが、明けましておめでとうございます。やっと年が明けましたね。今年こそは、今年こそはとコロナの状況が良くなることを願って既に３年目に突入してしまいました。私たち家族は、１２月のデンマーク行きを断念し、またまたスモールファミリーでクリスマス、お正月を過ごしました。去年お腹にいたコアくんも、今月で10ヶ月。一人前にお洒落をして、生まれて初めてのお正月を迎えました。

年末の割と早い時期におせち料理の材料を買い占めようと日本食店へ行きましたが、今年は便数の問題で、いつになくお正月用の食材がほとんど売り切れており、ぎりぎりでいらないかまぼこの付いてくる伊達巻のパッケージとバキュームパックされた黒豆をなんとか仕入れることができました。残りは、頑張って手料理で。なかなか日本へも帰れないものだから、少し欲張って4品作りました。

子供の頃からあまり好きではなかったおせち料理も、食べたいというよりは懐かしさと日本への恋しさで毎年作っているという感じです。元旦のあのピリッとした寒さ、早朝から祖父母の家で集まって、テーブルを親族で囲っておせち料理を食べた日を思い出します。そのうち日本でのお正月をコアくんにも経験させてあげたいなと思いながら、そして日本への恋しさを募らせながら、おせち料理をいただきました。本文には色々人生について長々と書きましたが、今月４０歳になりました。３０代は悲しいこと嬉しいこと、いろいろなことが起きましたが、４０代はゆっくりと焦らず、子育てと自分のやりたいこと、じっくり楽しんで過ごしていきたいです。